The large collection of crack requests
by Nucleartea
Summary: I have gotten a few requests lately, and as you know, I LOVE WRITING CRACK. Slight crossovers. Country AND human names used.
1. What Is this!

**AND IT BEGINS.**

"Once upon a time, there was an egocentric Albino named Gilbert. "

Proud of her accomplishment, the lazy author of this story flipped her notebook closed and sighed happily. She hadn't written any form of fanfiction in a few months, and she was surprised that she even got that far.

Suddenly, a small, annoying voice in the back of her head began to speak, no, yell. "_MOTHERFUCKER GET BACK TO WRITING YOUR STORY," _ It screeched angrily.

"GODDAMNIT I DON'T WANT TO!" The author replied.

"_I DON'T FREAKING CARE, TAYLOR. YOU HAVEN'T WRITTEN SHIT FOR MONTHS. MAKE A NEW STORY OR SOMETHING. TAKE REQUESTS. "_

"FINE. I WILL," he pouted. People began staring at her questionably, for to the normal human eye, it would appear that she was screaming at herself and not at the cussing voice in the back of her mind. No, she isn't crazy at all. Well, maybe she is. Just a little. I mean, she was wearing leg warmers and a USSR t shirt. No sane person would wear those clothes.

She abruptly left the school cafeteria and grabbed her laptop, which she brought to school for no apparent reason. She flipped open the top to her 7-year-old beast of a computer and waited 120o948 million years for Microsoft word to open. Once the program was fully operating, she began typing furiously, ignoring the students walking past her.

This is the faggotry that she wrote.


	2. Number One

**NUMBER ONE: Prussia x Prussia**

**PROOFREADING IS MY ENEMY.**

"One…two…three," the German wheezed as he attempted to do the torturous ritual most call "push up". "Four…five…"

The opening of the front door was heard in the distance. A sound of footsteps filled the house as it made its way down the stairs to the basement.

"ONE THOUSAND SIX…ONE THOUSAND SEVEN…OH HALLO WEST," he nearly yelled. "I WAS JUST DOING A FEW PUSHUPS. I GOT TO ONE THOUSAND AND SEVEN. NO BIGGY," he said, flexing and grunting. The young German in front of him rolled his eyes and walked, no, marched back up the stairs and up to his office. Gilbert, or as he preferred to be called, "sir awesome" chuckled and got back to his intense training. He got one full push-up in before collapsing to the hard, unforgiving floor that was covered in cheeto crumbs. He sighed and walked back to his computer chair in defeat.

Something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. That something happened to be none other than a mirror. It was not just _any_ mirror; it was quite possibly the most pimped-out mirror of all time.

"OF ALL TIME," Kanye West interrupted.

"Shut up and get out of my story. You aren't even funny anymore," snarled the author.

Oh, where was I. Ah, I was at the mirror. This mirror was tall and wide so that it could reflect Sir Awesome's body in its entire glory. It's a surprise that it hasn't cracked and shattered from Prussia's amazingness and pure beauty, like his other mirrors had. The God-like ex-nation strutted to the God-like mirror. He practically sparkled; he was so beautiful. He didn't sparkle like one of those sparkly pussy vampires…no, he sparkled in a way that only he could. Edward Cullen and his glitter glue should go hide their heads in shame. Actually, Edward Cullen should hide his head in shame regardless.

"Hallo, sexy," he sang to his reflection, striking a pose. He placed a pale hand on the reflective surface.

"His perfect breath smelled of flowe-" Stephenie Meyer began to write.

The author of this story immediately slapped her. "WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE IN MY STORY. GET OUT!" she screamed.

"STOP INSERTING YOURSELF!" Mrs. Herp Derp- I mean, Stephenie Meyer replied.

"WELL YOU DID IT TOO. BELLA IS TOTALLY A MORE PERFECT REFLECTION OF YOU."

"SHUT UP AND BOW TO ME."

"NO. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'D LIKE TO GET BACK TO MY STORY."

While Taylor and Mrs. Herp Derp fought and argued, Sir Awesome began to full on make out with his mirror. Tongue and all. Sucking sounds were emitted along with moans of pleasure. His sweaty palms squeaked all across the mirror. Things were getting intense. He could feel a massive boner coming along. His five meters then became fully erect and thwacked him right in the face, leaving him with a black eye…a black eye of AWESOME. He unzipped his now ripped pants and-

"This story is rated T. Don't you dare," Kanye West warned.

"Guys, stop doing this. There's more interaction with me, the author than there is actual content. It's a bit ridiculous," Taylor replied.

"PG. 13. GOT IT?"

…Prussia had sexytime. The end.

"IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!" Stephenie Meyer sobbed.

"Get the hell out and don't come back. I want the next chapters to not have /any/ interruptions. I also want it to be much longer…MUCH LONGER."


End file.
